Not Every Movie Has to be the Best Movie Ever
The Allure of the Days of Analog
They Could've Just Made a Whole New Mermaid Movie
I do not like the Disney live action remakes. The only one that really added to the original and felt like there was true artistic merit in its creation was Kenneth Branagh's Cinderella. The others have largely been overstuffed retreads of the original films, with what they added not bring anything interesting to the table, ultimately giving us movies with no life. And while The Little Mermaid is a retread, it has life and it's fun. But, the details they added to flesh out the story, while they worked, I thought they were too interesting for this movie. Ultimately, I wished they scrapped The Little Mermaid and just made a brand new mermaid movie.
The new details that were added were little allusions to Prince Eric being someone who washed up on shore as a baby and taken in by the King and Queen, the death of Ariel's mother at the hand of a human, and the history of animosity between the surface world and under the sea. That could be the basis of a really interesting fantasy movie, and you can still keep the Ariel and Eric star-crossed lovers thing to add in some romance. Romeo & Juliet, but with a mermaid!
And honestly, that makes me hate these live action remakes even more. They had the seeds of a new story buried inside the shell of something they had done before. Disney can make original movies, but it seems like they're just too scared of them not making money so they're pumping out surefire box office hits, and sacrificing quality art in the process.
I'm So Over Filter Face
Filter face needs to stop.
I don't think I need to explain filter face because every time I've dropped this descriptor to people, they understand, but I think I'll do it anyway. Filter face is when a person gets work done to make it look they're in an Instagram filter. If you need a visual aid, just go watch most reality shows, and you'll be able to spot it. I would recommend Love Island, for reference.
What I keep imagining is what happens to your face as you age with all of that work done to it. Faces are supposed to change as you age, not stay frozen at 25. Age gives you character, and that makes me think of character actors. Actors who show up in supporting roles and steal the show because they don't look as glamorous of the leads. And how strange would it be to see those glamorous leads who've had work done in a period piece? That's not very historically accurate.
Now this isn't to diminish plastic surgery as a specialty, because there are countless examples of plastic surgery being used to save and/or better lives. There's a story my dad tells about a company picnic years ago where the 19 year-old assistant got hit by a car and was left with a huge gash on her face, and at the ER, he told the doctors there to get a plastic surgeon to sew up her face so she wouldn't have a nasty scar.
I just think we are losing the "unconventional" beauty with all these cosmetic procedures taking over the images we see every day.
I Have Been Processing My Thoughts on Dear Evan Hansen Since 2017
Dear Evan Hansen is closing on Broadway and it's got me really starting to formulate my thoughts on this show fully in a really long time. I was one of the fortunate who got to see the original cast (Mike Faist!). I say fortunate just because to be able to get tickets to a blockbuster musical during the original cast's, especially with someone giving a performance like Ben Platt, is fortunate. Honestly, a lot of his problems of being wrong when it came time to the movie was that awful hair. Not to knock the understudies or new casts, because some of the performers we discover or come in for a run are phenomenal, and in this show specifically I would've loved to witness Jordan Fisher perform "Waving Through a Window". But to be able to get a ticket to the original run of a production is always a special thing. So I'm glad I was able to see it while it was a hard ticket to get. All that being said, now onto my issues with it.
Can MTV Put Back the "Music" in Music Television?
On most days when you turn to MTV, it's usually Ridiculousness filling up the airwaves. And I get it, Ridiculousness can be fun, but not for all hours of the day. And it really makes you think of MTV's current programming slate compared to it slates of days gone by. There is the MTV Classic channel, which plays a lot of old music videos, but it’s not been a part of MTV’s programming really since TRL ended in 2008. I know television ratings aren't what they used to be, for every network, so I get the cost benefit analysis for all of the Ridiculousness. And especially in the seemingly unstable age of streaming. But, there seems to be no effort to do any sort of music programming. And I am saying this as a casual observer of the network who really only watches MTV for The Challenge.
But there’s so many interesting things happening with music right now, they could go back to being Music Television.
Since there is no longer a monoculture where everyone is watching the same stuff, you don't have to go for juggernaut ratings, and you can get more creative with what you put on the air. Especially with Paramount+ as their parent company’s streaming service as a place where their programming can be made available. TRL doesn't have to be hitting the same numbers it was when it was the show. It can be retooled. It could be prerecorded, with maybe live specials if a major artist wants to do a big promotion for their video or album. Something to take us through the week in music. With this, you could bring back the VJ. Program music videos and performances of now and yesterday, and have the VJs guide us through it all. It would also make the Video Music Awards kind of matter again, too. It feels better to hold them when MTV is actually airing music videos on the network. And make MTV Unplugged a bit more of a regular event. NPR's Tiny Desk Concert gets a lot of views so there is an audience for an artist doing an acoustic performance.
Bring back MTV News. There could also be roundtables with music critics and music writers. Whether it be a round up of music of the week, or talking about what's happening in music at the moment. A major bit of programming MTV News could do is festival coverage. With the amount of festivals that are being put on right now, that's an opportunity to send out reporters to talk to artists, festival goers, report on the highs and lows of the festival on the ground. I don't think we're in danger of another Woodstock 99 happening, especially after the HBO doc and the Netflix docuseries about it, so it would be safe to have your crews there.
Another thing they can do is to redo all those old VH1 countdowns. Top 100 albums, artists, women in music, music videos, break it down by genre. As many topics as you can think of. Even bring back the I Love the Decade franchise. Do you know how many days I spent glued watching those when they would rerun them on weekends. Again, if you want to break up the Ridiculousness reruns, make of these and you can really diversify the days. But, really, doing some programming about music history and pop culture can be very instrumental. Lots of people love music docs, so produce or squire docs on artists, eras, events, and keep all that music alive for people.
The point is, we're in a different age where I think MTV can shift back to their original mission statement. Music Television. That's not to say you have to abandon all their reality stuff. Keep The Challenge going for as long as it's good. But there could be an appetite for music television again.
Can We Stop Giving a Shit About the Kardashians?
Why do we still follow them after all this time? This is a serious question. I’m not being facetious or cutesy about this, I genuinely do not understand why we still give a shit what they do and what they ‘say’.
Release Batgirl, You Cowards
It was revealed that the new Batgirl movie that was originally going to stream on HBO Max, maybe have a theatrical release, is no longer being released. And I think that’s the wrong the decision.
Since this movie was made under a different regime, I guess they’re taking stock of what they have in the pipeline. And their reasoning for scrapping Batgirl is that they want DC movies to be big theatrical events. This is a movie that has the live action film debut of Batgirl, Brendan Fraser as a villain, and Michael Keaton back as Batman. How is that not an event?
I think what they’re trying to say is that it’s not a blockbuster event like the majority of superhero movies. One reason people say they have superhero fatigue (*ahem*) is that all these movies feel the same. Wouldn’t it bring more interest to your movie if you present something different? I want to see a smaller scale superhero movie in theaters. It’s why I like Birds of Prey so much. It was ground level and character driven, and isn’t that way Batgirl is all about?
No One Wants to Let Stories End Anymore
Trying to See as Many Non-Blockbusters in Theaters as Possible
Hugh Jackman Needs a Good Old-Fashioned MGM-like Musical
I got to see Hugh Jackman in The Music Man with the fam recently. Bought the tickets in December and the only date that worked for all four of us was in April, you know how that goes. And it was an enjoyable experience, even though it was The Music Man. The production was great, the actual musical was, fine. This was my first time ever experiencing it, I don't think it's a strong enough show, especially for today's audiences. But I did like Hugh Jackman in it, and it got me thinking about his past musicals and movie musicals.
Les Miserables' issues have nothing to do with Jackman's and the majority of the other performers' work. (Sorry, Russell Crowe.) And I think The Greatest Showman is trying so hard to be earnest and uplifting it fails as a story. What would have been more interesting was to use the artifice of a movie musical as part of P.T. Barnum’s schemes, cons, and deceptions. (But that's a rant for another day.) Hugh Jackman is the kind of star that can do a Broadway residency and an arena tour because he can, and sing all the standards and incorporate the new show tunes into his act, I want to see that Hugh Jackman.
The kind of movie musical I would like to see Hugh Jackman in is a good old-fashioned MGM-style movie musical. Particularly of the Gene Kelly type. Dashing leading man, that's cheeky and kind of shady meets girl who turns his life around, with a dream ballet at the end.
Here's how I think this should go. It should be a love story, maybe while they're putting on a show, that classic trope in the classic movie musicals. And he falls in love with an age appropriate co star. No 40 or 50 year old being put together with a 19 year old here. And then you could add in the finding love for the first time, or again, later in life, so there's a bit more poignancy. Might I suggest his costar in The Music Man, Sutton Foster. There can be a tap number! And you gotta do the dream ballet. You can't have Hugh Jackman and not let him dance for six minutes.
For the songs, maybe do one or two originals, gotta get the Oscar nominations where you can, but it would be interesting to look back at the Great American Songbook with a modern lens. Songs like "Puttin' on the Ritz", "Embraceable You", "I Got Rhythm", and pretty much anything Cole Porter and Irving Berlin wrote. There's a reason those songs are classic. Maybe do some new arrangements or put them into different contexts than they've been in in previous films. The possibilities are endless!
Moral of the story is that if you get Hugh Jackman to sing and dance in something quality and you'll have a winner!
The Modern Phenomena of the Actress Turned Producer
I've Figured Out What I Like in a Baseball Player
Opening Day is finally here and baseball is back! And now I can start following my first full season since I was a little kid. And since I'm starting to pay more attention, it's got me thinking about what makes me like certain players. I've finally figured it out. I like the players who do the crafty shit.
Yes, home runs are awesome, especially when it's a game on the line home run or a grand slam. Watching pitchers strike out batters is fun, too, and the tension that unfolds in games that matter, whether it's the postseason or a regular season games that becomes something else.
I love seeing amazing fielding plays. How did you make that catch, make that throw, kind of plays. Use all the speed, swim moves, and fancy slides on the base paths. So the players I gravitated towards watching highlights for have been Javy Báez, Trea Turner, Francisco Lindor, guys like that. So, I think I like elite shortstops. There's honestly nothing better than watching them make plays at short. They way they're aggressive getting balls, the incredible throws. Javy Báez made tagging an art form.
But the real fun is when they step up to the plate. Francisco Lindor's three homer game against the Yankees and Javy's bombs in tight situations. Trea Turner had two grand slams at the very end of the regular season, one a game tying one. He's also hit for the cycle three times, tying for the MLB record for most career cycles, with his most recent coming on his birthday last year. The real fun though is when they get on the base paths and watching what they can do.
Francisco is fun to watch because you can see how much fun he's having. And honestly, no one has speed like Trea Turner. It is so much fun to watch him run. He's so fast, I want to know the time of his 100m dash. And Javy just does crafty shit. I mean, we all remember when he turned the Pirates infield into idiots, but he does stuff like that a lot. Takes wild chances, steals bases, does swim moves and avoids tags. I mean, he's called El Mago for a reason.
So I'm so happy baseball is back, and I can follow the season from the beginning. Obviously I'm going to pay attention to my Mets, and I'm gonna follow the Dodgers because they were the first team I really watched when I dipped my toe back into baseball during the 2020 post season. I'll also be checking in on Javy on the Tigers because I'm still sad the Mets weren't able to keep him. Francisco Lindor and Javy Báez as your middle infield? Come on! But it's the past, and I am very much looking forward to this baseball season.
The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo Should Be A Limited Series
The adaptation of The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo was finally announced, something I’ve wanted and been intrigued by since I finished the book.
However. It’s going to be a movie on Netflix, and that doesn’t feel right to me. Not just because it's a movie, but because it's Netflix and I have a feeling that it might not be the right fit for this book. Just from the tone of the book, I would've guessed it would be more in tone with HBO or Hulu. It's an epic period drama about Hollywood, and women-centered. HBO and Hulu have had success with stories about women adapted from novels, as evidenced by Reese Witherspoon's projects with both networks, Big Little Lies (season 1) and Little Fires Everywhere.
Now to the crux of my argument: you cannot pack this novel into two hours. You want to tell a multi-decade story about a woman, her career, and her seven husbands in two hours? Ha! It needs multiple episodes to breathe and giver her marriages enough time to show the impact each one had on her and how she lived and worked. I don't think it should be seven episodes, one per husband. I think it should be nine. One for Evelyn's early life, seven per husband and those parts of her life, and one for Monique and how this interview and all these revelations impacted her, make her a true character and not just our conduit.
When adapting something, it has to be the right medium and storyteller. Storyteller, we'll have to wait and see, but I just don't think a Netflix movie is the medium for it. Unless, it's an awards movie, sometimes, Netflix movies aren't talked about for longer than a weekend, if that. I think this material needs the prestige of an HBO or, lately, Hulu series to give it all the time and attention this story deserves.
Holy Smokes Batman!
The Batman is out now and it's got me thinking about all the past cinematic Batmans. The Batman was a good film noir, but he was still in the tradition of the grim dark that has encompassed Batman stories of over the last couple of decades. It's almost like a competition to see how grim dark they can take the character. Also literally dark, to where you can't really see what's happening on the screen. And on top of that, since The Dark Knight, each Batman and movie he has been in has gotten progressively dour. Somebody at Warner Brothers or DC needs to be brave and bold and take Batman into a whole new direction.
There are a few different directions I would like to see Batman go in.
One is very simple: find a different kind of villain to be the antagonist. No more Banes or Jokers wanting the destruction of Gotham. Don't even repeat some of the villains from the older movies. Go to the comics and find a character from the rogues gallery that may not be as well known to the general public. Nothing shakes things up like new blood.
The second direction is to go full camp. Just go back to the style of the original Adam West show and update it for the 21st Century. Be fun and funny and bring color back to Batman. It is inherently ridiculous that a playboy decides to spend his wealth to dress up as a bat to "save the city" instead of donating it to charities or funding his own. Let's be real, Gotham really needs that money.
The third direction, and the one I hope that is taken, is put Batman into a 1940s film noir. The Batman is film noir, but I want classic Hollywood film noir. He is essentially a private investigator, and he's got quite the number of femme fatales, with Catwoman clearly on top. Have him actually be the world's greatest detective and make him solve a crime. Less brawling, more sleuthing. He should have plenty of rogues that aren't super powered, let's seem him go toe to toe with a regular human criminal mastermind. You want to be super stylish, film it in black and white with all the angles and hallmarks of a true film noir.
I don't see why Batman needs to remain this one thing when he has a varied history. Why do we have to keep telling the same kind of stories about him? Is is just that people think that only one kind of Batman story can be told anymore? Or is it that the studios are trying to appease fans with what they want, and keep going further and further into the darkness with no sign of light?
More Places Should Serve a Hot French Vanilla
I've probably mentioned this before, but the hot french vanilla is one of the best beverages to have on a cold day. The richness and creaminess makes it feel decadent. But, it's not a heavy drink where it'll mess your stomach up after you drink it.
It's great if you don't want a coffee, and sweet, but not as rich as hot chocolate. It's delicious and the fact that it's more widely available makes me sad. No chains carry it, not even Starbucks, and their whole thing is hot drinks.
It's just an unappreciated and probably less well known beverage. I wish it were more widely available so I can get it outside of New York deli.
We're Never Gonna Get that Roaring Twenties Redux, Are We?
At the beginning of 2020, everyone was hoping for another Roaring Twenties. And then the world changed two months into the decade. Now, in what will be year three of living in a pandemic, i don' think we're gonna get that Roaring Twenties Part Deux.
And in the summer of 2021, it felt like we were turning a corner. Especially with the vaccines available to all adults. Then the delta variant, just as I was getting used to being maskless outside. But we turned that corner and Broadway shows were coming back. And now with Omicron, all these shows being canceled feels like 2020 all over again.
I do have some informed hope that Omicron will be a short wave and not as deadly. Because, selfishly, I would like to see more Broadway shows, and my family has tickets for The Music Man with Hugh Jackman and Sutton Foster in April.
Hopefully, we get to a point when this is over and we can party. And there better be 20s themed parties that look like this.
The Movie Musical is Back Baby!
I finally saw the new adaptation of West Side Story, and this really caps off a great year for the movie musical. I mean, In the Heights, Tick Tick... Boom!, and West Side Story were tremendous. Even the, shall we say, less well received movies give me hope, like Cinderella, with Camila Cabello, and Dear Evan Hansen, which I have many thoughts about. After they were released there were no think pieces about the death of the movie musical. Everyone just moved onto the next movie musical.
Now there has been hate against movie musicals, that people just can't believe that people will break into song and dance. But people can suspend their disbelief for superheroes, and all the impossible things that happen in those movies, you can suspend your disbelief for a musical number. It's fun!
Also, you just can't get the emotional highs that you get in musicals that you can't get from other kinds of movies. From "96,000" to "Somewhere", and everything in between. And you don't get much better moments like Stephen Sondheim's voicemail to Jonathan Larson in Tick Tick... Boom! anywhere else.
Hopefully after the reception to both the good and the bad, studios will realize there is a market for the movie musical and greenlight more. Because I. Want. Them. All.
Little Mix are Taking a Break and I'm Fine (No I'm Not)
It's taken me a few days to process this since they made their announcement.
I love Little Mix, and I genuinely think they are one of the best girl groups of all time. They have earned that distinction over the last ten years, starting with being the first group to win X Factor UK, and breaking the girl group curse while they were at it, and ending with becoming the first girl group to win Best Group at the BRIT Awards in its 43 year history.
They were an act in the British Invasion of the 2010s that, along with their fellow X Factor UK contestants to try to break the US, lived in the shadow of One Direction. But, while they never truly broke America, they do have a strong fan base here.
So now I’m sad, but they’re still touring next year so we’ll get to see them perform. And I’d like to hear the new arrangements now that that fourth member has left the group.
I am looking forward to what Perrie, Jade, and Leigh-Anne do next. They’re all expected to do solo music. Perrie and Leigh-Anne have their babies and fashion lines. Leigh-Anne just made her acting debut in Boxing Day, a new holiday rom-com. But the girl I’m most interested in following is Jade, for many reasons. The first one is the obvious one, she’s my favorite and has my favorite voice in the group. The second reason is that she is the member that has been making more moves as a songwriter during her time in Little Mix. She signed a publishing deal and has sold songs to other artists, including one to K-Pop girl group TWICE.
I will be mourning the group, but I have hope that we'll see them together again. And until we do, I can't wait to see what each member does next.
Stephen Sondheim, What Will We Do Without You?
There is a giant in the sky. The greatest to ever do it, Stephen Sondheim. I don't have the words myself to describe what a loss he is. I look forward to reading pieces about the impact of his work, and his influence on and support of new artists, something that is beautifully illustrated in a scene from Tick, Tick... Boom!, in a voicemail left by Sondheim himself.
Stephen Sondheim recording this voicemail for tick tick boom takes on a whole new meaning now pic.twitter.com/ztz3wyqB5m
— Dominique (@heysleepyface) November 27, 2021
Since Sondheim has passed, I'm going to do a deeper dive into his work than I've ever done before, because while I know pretty about much his whole career, I haven't listened to everything. That's going to be a great time of discovery for me and I can't wait for it.
I think there's a reason that when writers pass away, no matter the medium, is because they are the ones who make us laugh, and cry, and put words to our feelings that we didn’t have before. And the way his lyrics have been making the rounds in tweets and statements about his passing, that seems to be true. I mean, I did it in the title and first sentence of this post.
There is one lyric that has been making the rounds that from Anyone Can Whistle that I've just learned, that I think will sum up the legacy of Stephen Sondheim and his work.
None of it was wasted, all of it will last.