To Share or Not To Share

Thursday, January 17, 2019
I have always wanted to be a person who journals. The amount of journals I have purchased over the years would lead you to believe I was as prolific fantasy writers.
I have always been uncomfortable with sharing my thoughts. To my parents, my sister, various therapists. I can't even post simple text posts on tumblr that are more than just a funny little thought that could easily be posted on twitter. So why am I uncomfortable putting them into a journal? It is for my eyes only, no one else will know, and there will be no judgements from anyone for whatever I write in them.
I was always taught not to be an imposition in people's lives, but I guess that idea has now extended to me not being able to talk about my life, whether it's to friends, or even career services. Couple that with Catholic guilt and it is debilitating.
My guess is because of that, I never really learned how to discuss my feelings. Not with family and not with friends, so whatever social skills that comes with being able to share and express your deepest feelings, I do not possess, even with something as private as a journal.
I wish I could end this post with how I've learned how to share my feelings and overcome my fear of it, but I haven't. But, hopefully, with this thing I decided to do on whim, will really help. So, sorry to any readers of this who will endure my one-side therapy sessions or the randomness of my thoughts.

Reluctantly,
Kerry
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