The one good thing I can say about 2019 is that I finally started understanding my depression for the first time. I started going to therapy again, and I talked about my pain for the very first time. There's still work that needs to be done, and continuous work that I'll probably have to do, but the first time I put crack the wall that's been holding me in and, that is a very big deal for me.
What really helped was I started writing about it. I never could write about it in a traditional journal, but then I started this site, and I think the act of knowing somebody would read it, and it wouldn't be hidden away helped. I also started writing about it in other styles. I wrote about it in a "Modern Love" essay type piece and a Twilight Zone-inspired short story. I'm still working on those pieces, and I kind of want to do something with them once they're completed, but I don't know what yet.
Here's to 2020, and hopefully a better me.
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